ISTJs are not very emotional people, and they tend to use their common sense and intelligence more than their feelings. For the ISTJ, the idea of emotions controlling them is something they care to avoid; instead, they’d rather allow their intelligence to lead them. However, that doesn’t mean ISTJs are incapable of emotions or loving relationships. Most ISTJs want to find a long-term romantic mate with which to spend the rest of their lives.
So, ISTJs aren’t into casual flings or dating. While they will date and possibly experience a fling from time to time, it’s all about finding a lifelong partner to them. ISTJs seek out partners that will commit to them and stick with them. ISTJs aren’t exceptionally great at flirting with others when they are interested. So, even if an ISTJs is interested in you, their methods of approach might not feel like flirting to you. However, just because most ISTJs don’t flirt as you’d expect, that doesn’t mean they don’t try to approach their crushes when they feel they might have found a worthwhile person.
Below, I elaborate on the findings in four key areas of ISTJ compatibility.
#1 ISTJs and Flirting
ISTJs don’t often hide their feelings when they have a crush on somebody. While they don’t flirt in a typical way, they will approach their love interest and ask plenty of questions. When an ISTJ feels intrigued by somebody, that ISTJ will do everything they can do get to know the person better to make sure they’ve found an excellent potential partner. So, they’ll spend plenty of time getting to know you if they are interested in you romantically. So, you will notice if an ISTJ seems interested in you because he or she will want to talk to you for hours and hours.
However, ISTJs aren’t always upbeat and positive, nor do they enjoy showing their feelings often when they are just getting to know somebody. An ISTJ won’t flirt with you emotionally or express any strong emotions as they get to know you. ISTJs prefer cutting to the chase and use a straightforward approach of talking and asking questions to learn more about their crush. The question and answer sessions help the ISTJ figure out if the person is worthwhile to date. Since ISTJs are so practical, they may put you through many question and answer sessions before they’ll ask you out on a date.
ISTJs won’t attempt to put anybody through this process. In essence, they’ll only take time out from their schedules to talk to a person if they are earnest about a relationship with that other individual. ISTJs don’t play games or lead people on; instead, they simply use their time to make sure they should date the individual they like. ISTJs like to feel particular about their next steps, and they don’t typically take action without studying things. They don’t want people that flirt often and don’t seem to care about the feelings of others. So, if you are trying to attract an ISTJ, be patient, participate in those long question and answer sessions, and don’t act overly flirty. Chances are if the ISTJ is already interested in you, then all you need to do is be yourself.
#2 ISTJs in Romantic Relationships
ISTJs tend to have traditional values when it comes to romantic relationships. They aren’t the type to try to find a date or that date just for fun. Instead, they tend to take dating very seriously and will only consider going out with somebody if that person seems like a good, long-term match for them. So, they are trying to find somebody that shares similar values, and that also wants a long-term romantic partner. Many ISTJs prefer traditional relationships with old school family values and traditional gender roles. ISTJs are inherently distrustful of changing ideas about the family structure, so they enjoy having a partner that agrees with them on these aspects.
ISTJs tend to be reserved, but they are very good at making their partners feel vital while they demonstrate their commitment to the relationship. ISTJs tend to be very dedicated to their partners once they are in a committed, long-term relationship. They may even adapt to their partner’s love dialogue and use it in return if it seems to make their partner happy. ISTJs are very good at sensing their partner’s emotions, and they are also very willing to adapt to that all in the name of love. Because ISTJs are eager to go out of their way to keep their partners happy, they are still emotional people, although they will more likely express their emotions practically. For instance, they enjoy purchasing small gifts that their partners enjoy to demonstrate their love.
#3 Attracting an ISTJ
ISTJs enjoy a romantic partner that’s intelligent. Since ISTJs are very logical, common-sense types, they prefer an independent partner and also knows what he or she wants out of life. ISTJs love confident people and they also enjoy dating people that are willing to stand up for themselves. To the ISTJ, a robust and passionate person is extremely attractive, and that will often be enough to draw an ISTJ to you for those great question and answer sessions we mentioned earlier. ISTJs enjoy deep conversations, so they’ll want a partner that’s intelligent enough to talk to them for long periods. ISTJs often feel drained when they are around a lot of people, so they want somebody who won’t bore them. ISTJs do not enjoy being around overly emotional people, because they find emotions to be exhausting.
#4 Partners for the ISTJ
ISTJs are very logical people, so they enjoy being with a personality type that also uses a strong sensing function. That makes communication and a similar worldview between the ISTJ and his or her partner a real possibility, making the relationship a kind, smooth endeavor. ISTJs use their auxiliary function of extraverted thinking to make their decision, so they tend to be practical when it comes to relationships. ISTJs are typically interested in people that have introverted sensing as either a dominant or auxiliary function because this usually means they’ll share a similar worldview. If an ISTJ meets somebody that uses extraverted sensing, then the ISTJ may be more willing to step outside his or her comfort zone and grow. However, stepping out of one’s comfort zone won’t always be appealing to the ISTJ, but it will help the ISTJ to grow over time.
ISTJs do well with other personality types that utilize a feeling function for their auxiliary or dominant. Since ISTJs are sharp thinkers, they don’t often rely on or understand emotions. If an ISTJ can find a partner that does handle emotions better, they can learn from their partner and balance out their lack of feelings more successfully. That can also help make their relationship run smoothly because the ISTJ can learn from their partner how to deal with emotions.
ISTJs are dedicated to their partners when they get involved in a romantic relationship once they find their mate. Most single ISTJs desire to find their partner, and they’ll look for a person that has a traditional family value system. ISTJs make great spouses and parents, and they do a great job of helping the family feel safe and secure. While ISTJs aren’t as exciting as some other partners, they are dedicated, lifelong partners that will always be there for you.
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